FIRSTS

by creativejuiceswithice

I found a set of documents in my laptop and it turned out to be one of my attempts to manage a journal. It’s all about that chapter in my life (which was just last April) when I realized that I’ve finished studying. And I was to embark on the journey of an employee.

<FIRSTS>

Today I realized how I always tell everyone that I love writing, yet I haven’t really accomplished to make a journal for myself. So right now, I am going to – yet again – start my journal. This time though, I think I’m more determined than ever. Besides, I don’t have acads to worry about anymore. I have a lot of time to spare, finally.

I have just decided to write a journal entry everyday during nights. The reason for this is to capture the “theme of the day” which then becomes the title of the entry. The content does not necessarily have anything to do with what has occurred during the rest of the day. Instead, it could be just about realizations that transpired during the day.

And so, I’m calling my first entry “Firsts”. Our firsts mostly happen during our younger years. Our first firsts would be the ones we have forgotten, like the first time we spoke, or walked, or ate normal food. The most memorable firsts must be during high school years, when people start to develop deeper relationships, whether platonic or romantic. We have a first crush, first love, first date, first dance, and for some, perhaps a first kiss.  I would be glad to enumerate them all, but, you know what those are. Besides, high school firsts are treasures forever imprinted in our hearts and minds.

At this moment, I am, as the song One Last Time says “at the threshold of a new life”. And yes, “life is about to be different” again. I remember the night before my first day in high school. I couldn’t sleep whatever I do. I had the rush. I was so excited to finally be a high school-er. On the contrary, the night before my first year in college was just like any other night, which was great because then I was able to sleep and prepare myself for the forthcoming day. College never really bothered me back then. I knew I was prepared since I came from a college preparatory high school.

Fear and worry are products of uncertainty. And for that reason, I do worry and fear a little about what awaits me. It’s no longer about classrooms and sections and subjects and grades and classmates and teachers. As a new member of the Unemployed Club, now it’s about being good or great enough to be accepted by a company. And it scares me a little. This is the “real life” as they say it. For nearly fifteen years of my twenty-year life, I did nothing more than to sit down– sometimes with proper bearing, but most of the time slouched – and listen to the instructor in front of me. But that is about to change.

Well, I hope that some years from now I get to laugh at this entry. You know, I hope I realize how I don’t actually have to worry, and that there’s nothing to be worried about. Well, I also hope that I can get myself out of this U-Club right away!

</FIRSTS>

Who would’ve thought that I’d be getting off from the U-Club early? Thanks to a professor of mine who offered me a job as a Science Research Analyst. And really, even looking back this early makes me smile at this journal. I feel like the 3 month-immersion on this job had already changed me. It’s a nice thought. 🙂

Advertisements